the day you realise that work is not the be all and end all ...

... I've been so tied up with work recently that I've hardly had a social life.  Friends and family have come second to work, work, work. Yesterday I had a wake-up call.

A very close friend messaged me on FB to tell me that a mutual friend, who was in hospital for an operation, had a complication and we nearly lost her on Monday.  I hadn't even gone to see her after her operation.  I felt terrible.  Yesterday I hi-tailed it, after work, to the Royal National Orthopedic Hospital with a bag of goodies.  She was on the HDU, seeing her so drained really really brought it home to me that work is not the be all and end all of my life.  She's always had troubles with her knee and has had numerous operations.  She's been pulled, prodded and poked for all of her life.  Then they discovered cancer in the bone in her knee - she was actually really happy about it because it meant that they had finally discovered what was wrong and that it could be taken out and the new bionic knee put in.  It should have been a routine operation.  However the cancer had spread to her artery in her leg and was strangling it.  The artery was clipped off and then it basically exploded, nearly killing her. 

On a more personal note, I went to the doctors on Monday.  This is the 5th month that I've had a period every other week, but again, I've been a tad on the busy side and just kept thinking that my body would sort itself out eventually.  However it has now resulted in me being highly anemic.  I thought I was just tired all the time because of work, but now my lack of energy and enthusiasm for anything is at least explained by the lack of iron in my system!  I've got to go for blood tests and an ultra sound to see what's wrong with my body - the doctor even hinted at an early menopause.  I'm only 38!  I can't be going through  my menopause now!

You know how earlier - I was saying that some things are more important than work?  Well, I'm not having my blood test until a week on Monday.  Because I don't want to miss school! I'm an idiot aren't I?

 Well, 4 more days left of work.  We have a half day on Monday and the school closes to the kids on Friday - we have 1 1/2 days of Inset to prepare for the new Ofsted procedures. I don't think I've looked forward to a holiday more than this one. 

I'll try to be a bit perkier on my next post!

4am watching Bill O'Reilly

Yes, I watch Bill O'Reilly AND Hannity.

It's true ... I watch Fox News because it is just so amazingly appalling.  I know I'm British but I have an unhealthy interest in US politics, well probably not unhealthy, it's a healthy recognition that the USA unfortunately impacts my life on this tiny island way too much.

Thankfully this week is almost over - yesterday was strange.  My boss was off with a crooked back and when he's been off before I've heard nothing from senior management.  It's just been accepted that I'll step up.  However yesterday I got an email from our line manager copied to the headteacher that I'll be 'deputising'.  And yesterday at least three other members of staff asked if I'll be 'stepping up' when he leaves.  ACK.  I've NEVER wanted to be the head of a department - ever.  I really enjoy teaching, I don't enjoy all the paper work and other shite that goes with the job.  However, there is part of me that thinks I should give this a go.  This is what has woken me up at 4am.

Well I'm a bit crap aren't I?

but I have an excuse ... I do really.
We've got the 'Ofsted threat' hanging over us, it's been going on since the end of September so the rounds of observations and 'learning walks' has been non-stop.  Constant data checks, paper work checks, blah blah blah.  I've been leaving for work at 5:45am and getting home around 6:30pm every day - so as you can imagine. I've been a tad exhausted.  So exhausted in fact that I came down with something rather nasty.  I tried to go back to work yesterday however my doctor had signed me off for a week so they sent me home again - grrrrr.  I feel fine so now I'm in bed listening to comedy on Radio 4 (iPlayer catchup) and thinking about getting up.

It looks like a beautiful day outside ...

So what's been going on? Not much apart from work to be honest.  We've dealt with a postage thief as we weren't getting any of our mail which was frustrating beyond belief.

I've started filling one of the bathrooms with my strange collection of photographs that I've found on Deptford Market.

Not very interesting is it?  I'll sort myself out and try to post more - I need to go back to having a life.  I don't think Ofsted are turning up this half term and I need to start sorting out my secondhand/ hand made Winter Solstice ;)

Today I am ...

LISTENING: To Feast of Hammers (advanced copy) by Birdeatsbaby - they're playing tonight in London but I can't see them because I'm not well enough.  However after the gig they're staying with us for the weekend as they're filming their video at Mr BL's workplace :)

half term at last ...

... and it's already Tuesday! 
This past term has been a slog - hence no blogging.  My summer holiday, being virtually devoid of relaxation, has meant that I have spent the past 6 weeks of the past half term I have been metaphorically climbing a mountain.  We've had the sword of  Damacles Ofsted hanging over our heads and the pressure, intensity and stress has been increasing with each passing day.  Weekends have been spent collapsing in a heap on the sofa and not moving apart from to demand a cup of tea or a couple of biscuits as I tap away creating lesson plan after lesson plan.  Still, it has paid off.  Last week I had an observation and received an OUTSTANDING!  It's strange how happy this makes me.  I'm such a kid at heart - I don't like to just know I'm doing well in my job - I'm conditioned to want to know HOW well I'm doing.  Outstanding isn't easy to get, especially with a class who are ALL EAL (English as Additional Language) and NO teaching assistant in the room.  I must admit I was very very chuffed with myself.
So this all bodes well for the future.  My boss's gf (who is head of another department at the school) is leaving at Christmas and moving away from London - he's obviously going to be following her at some point.  He said he won't until the Summer however I'm sure he'll leave at Easter if he can.  As there are only two of us in the department I'm going to go for the role as HoD.  Which means MORE work - but I guess I should show some sort of ambition.
We shall see - but as you can see - my life is currently being ruled by my job ... YAWN.
I did manage to photograph a couple of things this past few weeks:

Alexander Wolfe 

I love Alex - he's such a humble person and such an amazing performer.  B designed the stage and lighting for this gig and did Alexander proud - it was such a beautiful evening.
I also did a photoshoot for Birdeatsbaby:

I'm not very good at photoshoots - I get panicked because I'm the one in charge of the lighting - unlike a gig where I can always blame the lighting! ha ha - however - they seemed to like the photos.

Hopefully I'll get my shit together this week and manage to actually come round and see you all - hopefully.  I haven't even had time to go to the post office and pick up parcels that are sitting there waiting for me - arghhhhhhhh.