Putting things in perspective ...

Firstly can I thank you all for your absolutely lovely comments - really - meant so much to me.  I will answer each of you individually because your kind thoughts and words really made me feel so much better.

I've taken the past couple of days off from packing, went out with some friends yesterday afternoon and have really started to put things in perspective.  My sister is taking my parents to their GP's today; she used to be a nurse on a cancer ward and wants to see the report and get an understanding of the severity (or not) of the situation. We've discussed that it could be pleurisy or even pneumonia - and that worrying about the worst possible situation isn't going to help anyone.  So I'm a more positive Polly today!

So on that note I'd like to share a couple of finds with you today and what I've been doing to avoid thinking ;)

 A blank set of Matryoshka dolls for £2.95 - really nice condition and I'm currently scribbling in pencil on them to flesh out a design.

A cute espresso cup and saucer for 95p - you'll see why I'm buying white crockery next!

I also managed to get Season 3 and 4 of Peep Show for £3.00 - WHOOP :) love that show.

So what am I doing with white crockery at the moment?  I'm scribbling on it.  Here are my first batch of designs:

 Another little espresso cup - the design goes right round it and I'm really pleased with it.  The photo really doesn't do it much justice but the battery in my camera has run out so I'm left with the trusty iphone!

A tea cup with another design on it that is placed around it.

And these are the ones that are now on Etsy:

Be honest - what do you think?  I know they're just doodles and I doubt anyone would want to buy them but for 20c a listing I thought I'd give it a go :)  They're all named after the music I was listening to as I was doodling. 

Well - there you go - a more positive Polly and a more creative Polly.  Going to pop round and see you all later tonight as I'm going to do a bit of tidying first.

OOOH forgot - I also finally got my tattoo started.  After 3 1/2 hours this is the result:

This was just after it was done and before it was wrapped in cling-film.  She's so pretty - I love her!   I've got to go back at the beginning of September to get the colour put in but I'm so pleased already with her :)

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away ...

So yesterday I was all raring to go - I thought that I was starting to pull myself out of the quagmire that had been the past month or so - then our phone rang.

A shadow has been found on my father's lung.  He's a life-time smoker. 

B and I will have to drive him to his hospital appointment on his 70th birthday from our family holiday in Kent.  We had booked a week away with my mum, dad, sister and nephew and now one day's going to be spent in a hospital.  I tried to talk to my sister yesterday and she was just so unreasonable.  She thinks they're being selfish wanting to go to the appointment.  That leaving it another week won't make any difference.  I tried to make her understand that they're scared.

I'm petrified.  I know it could be pneumonia - he's had a chest infection recently.  However, with his history I can't help worrying.  It's not just that, it's my parents, they're obviously scared.  My sister isn't helping (she used to be a nurse - she's not got the best 'bedside manner') and I feel selfish being here in London trying to sort the move out while they're worrying back in Ipswich with just my sister there.

Part of me is feeling selfish - why now?  I was hoping for a week away from the stress of moving.  But now we're going to be driving for 8 hours back and forth to Suffolk.  And I hate myself for being selfish.  I just want a break.  I can't sleep properly, I feel sick and I just want to hold my dad and tell him that everything's going to be alright.

Sorry - I'm back and miserable - but I needed to just get this written down.

Hello again, hello ...

Hey there - thanks so much to those of you who contacted me - very sweet of you.  I've been ok I guess, just so much going on and not enough time to settle down and actually write something. 

It's finally the summer hols - YAY I hear you cry.  Well yes, it IS bloody fantastic however we've decided to make it a bit less relaxing.  Near the end of term I was having a look at properties available to rent around here, we currently rent a TINY 2-bed flat.  We now need 3 bedrooms due to a change in circumstances (NO, I am NOT having a baby!) and I found a HUGE flat for a fairly decent price.  We're now waiting for all our references to go through (should be no problem with that) and I'm currently packing every hour I can.  This will serve me right for hoarding so much weird shit - I've got to pack the bloody stuff now!  We're having a bit of a holiday later on so I'm trying to get everything packed now.  We have NO room anywhere and I'm getting a wee bit stressed by it all.  Not a good state really.  I hate packing, I get angry with myself for being such a hoarder and stressed by my inability to throw anything away.

Anyway - I doubt there will be much 'second-hand living' for the next few weeks as we're holding onto our £ and also not adding to the boxes of stuff - however I vow to post some bits and pieces I find on the web and also to come around and visit all of you.

xxx